Wrestling with God

    I believe in the Cause that calls. There is a Voice… I live “as if…” (We all live as if.) God is not a thing, but a movement. To participate in the Movement is our calling. As Tillich said, God is “the power of being.” Which is to say: the power of life. God is life-ness. God is Being which is always Becoming. As Dante said, there is the Love that moves the planets and the sun and the other stars. Faith has a vagueness to it. We see in a vague mirror (1 Cor. 13). The ultimate reality is reflected to us in a fuzzy faith. A fuzzy faith. Gas lighting— fundamentalism— believe what I say, don’t believe what you see.  

  I finished reading the book Fare Well in Christ by W.H. Vanstone. I like his comment on the phrase to be “in Christ.” He avers that it doesn’t indicate a sudden ontological change, but simply that those who are “in Christ” know the story of Jesus and its meaning.  I like the quote: “Man is unhappy because he doesn’t know he is happy.” It’s a quote from Dostoevsky’s The Possessed.

    I picked up a book at the library: The Pastor in a Secular Age , by Andrew Root. The subtitle is “Ministry to People Who No Longer Need a God.” In our time, when so many people feel they don’t need God, and nothing is “holy,” what is the pastor’s job? Charles Taylor has written about the “immanent frame,” that pervades our culture. That is, we are losing any sense of the transcendent (what we used to call the “supernatural”). The world is no longer “enchanted.” There is no magic. It is what it is.   In the 11 th century priests were frustrated that so many people refused to swallow the host (the bread at communion). They would sneak the body of Christ out of the church to feed it to their sick cows, believing that the holy bread had healing power. The church used to offer a kind of “magic” – supernatural things. But no more. For many, the Big Man in the Sky doesn’t exist. He is equated with Santa Claus—someone made up to enforce good behavior. So, what’s a pastor to ...

  August 25, 2020   Providence.   In a selection of John Chrysostom's reflections on "providence," he says:   Our fathers in the Old Testament times saw events contradicting he promises of God , yet they were not shocked or worried. They trusted in a Providence beyond their understanding. Knowing the richness and skill of the divine wisdom they awaited the outcome and endured all the adversities, giving thanks to God. (from Drinking from the Hidden Fountain. reading for Oct. 13)   Paul Tillich , in a sermon on Providence, says:   Faith in divine Providence is the faith that nothing can prevent us from fulfilling the ultimate meaning of our existence. Providence does not mean a divine planning by which everything is predetermined, as is an efficient machine. Rather, Providence means that there is a creative and saving possibility implied in every situation, which cannot be destroyed by an event. (from The Shaking of the Foundations)   In a sermon on th...

  FLICKERS OF THOUGHT   God is the pronoun for the genderless Reality who holds everything.   God pervades the universe, but is also outside the universe.   My temperament makes it necessary for me to view the world through a metaphysical framework.   God is meaning. Meaning is God. Without meaning my life has no purpose.   Three options: Meaning is given from beyond. There is no meaning. We create our own meaning.   Because we exist within the System (universe/life), we cannot judge the system. It is reasonable to trust the drama of the universe to the One who designed it and will have ultimate control over the consummation of it.   For a human being to judge God is the height of hubris.   Human tragedies are part of the “permission” given to the universe. Without the permission in place the world would be mechanical and humans would have no dignity. Human tragedy is the price we pay for the existence of human dignity and freedom. From our p...

January 15, 2019  From the beginning humans have   perceived or imagined unseen powers and forces which spooked and awed them; and the humans tried to influence those unseen powers to be friendly.   Dying and rising gods and goddesses were already imagined way before the birth of Christianity.   Sagas of an ancient couple named Abraham and Sarah, and their descendants, also tell of a small clan of Semitic people held as slaves in Egypt. These people have a memory of being liberated from the tyranny of a Pharaoh by the power of their God, YHWH. They had stories of tribal leaders, then kings and prophets, followed by forced exile from their homeland in Palestine to Babylon. They eventually return to their homeland and rebuild.   The Christian religion has its roots in the Jewish story. A Jewish man named Jesus was born in Palestine in around the year 4 BCE (which is numbered as year ‘0’ by a historical slippage).   While some people in our time speculate that...

 AFTERLIFE?   1. I was raised by family and church to believe in an afterlife. It has become part of my psyche and my conceptual framework.   2. During my formal education this belief was affirmed. In my studies and critical thinking I confirmed my acceptance of this belief.   3. Therefore, this is my bias. It is such a part of me that it is the default position in my believe system.   4. I have a desire to maintain a belief in an afterlife.   5. The sense of hope that has come with my ingrained acceptance of an afterlife sustains me.   6. The concept of Transcendence I was given as a child and during my higher education is one of a Reality (God) that/who is eternal. No beginning or ending. Infinite. Therefore, the concept of eternity has been part of my spiritual framework.   7. Having accepted the reality of an Eternal God who has created the universe and given a special place to human beings as creatures with consciousness; and believing in the...

    August 27, 2019 I’m leaning toward seeing the Christian narrative as “myth.” But there is this nagging question: Could those Jewish fishermen have been literate enough to write mythic narratives? There is obviously some artistic craft being practiced by the authors of the Gospels. Which calls into question the traditional identities of “Matthew and John.” But were the authors not people known by the early church? They were trusted. And the actual witnesses to those events were around. They would question writings that were not accurate, wouldn’t they? Or accept the form of the writings. Anyway, I beginning to see the Gospels through the mythic lens these days, and it feels right. Backing away from them, having more distance, I can see the mythic form as a legitimate way to convey the impact of Jesus.   If we didn’t have John’s Gospel, would there be a dogma of Incarnation? Even Paul, though he infers incarnation, doesn’t come out and say it. The Philippians 2 passage ...

  August 4, 2019   I believe that within life there is a “call.” A summons. A Voice. This “voice” is heard in our experiences. It calls for responsibility, love, grace, justice, wholeness. This “call” or “voice” is what we mean by “God.” The Biblical Narrative is one long story affirming this Call. Christians point to Jesus of Nazareth as an embodiment of this Call. His execution was an attempt to silence the Call in that historical situation. The Resurrection stories are affirmations that the Call cannot be silenced. The Ascension story points to the universal nature of the Call. (It was embodied in one person, but is no longer limited to that place and time.)   The Church’s rituals and symbols are meant to open our consciousness to the Call.  

  July 26, 2019 I’ve never experienced God directly. My faith is intellectual. Of course there is an existential element. That is, I live by it. It upholds me. But basically I believe in God through my intellect. That’s my temperament. Belief in God is rational to me. God is the basis of reason. God is “original Reason.” The infinite Mind. Christ as “logos” is the universal Reason; the ultimate Meaning. The Spirit is the Breath of Life.   Is the Bible one big parable? The whole notion of “sin” doesn’t speak to many modern people. But the concept of “brokenness” does. Salvation as “healing” or “wholeness” communicates.   I have been in grief for most of my adult life because I have lost a personal God. And I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with it. And how to talk about God—what language to use. I want to keep God “personal,” but I may be doing some intellectual cheating. How do we pray to a non-personal God? Do we just “commune”? I can sit alone and think about t...

  April 3, 2019 I continue to work and write within the Christian Tradition, but a revised one. Everyone has a Story they live by. Mine is the Christian Story. It gives me an ethical orientation, a psychological framework, a metaphysical fantasy, and a theological narrative.   I don’t believe in the Incarnation in a literal sense, only in a metaphorical sense. The resurrection takes me into an ambiguous country. The community around Jesus continued after his death. Something happened. The texts report that he literally came back to life in a transformed mode of being. He literally walked through walls, yet sat down and ate fish with them. Then, disappeared in thin air. I have no rational or logical problem accepting those reports as true. It could be that God transformed the man Jesus into a new mode of being, which previewed our future destiny.   The problem for me comes when I look around me and see no literal evidence that such an event happened in human history. There...

  January 15, 2019 The NDEs I have read and heard testified to are convincing to me. There is life after death. At death we continue to exist with consciousness and a new mode of being/seeing/communicating, etc.   My mode of receiving truth about revelation is cognitive. I am a thinker. The rationalist approach to religion is my strong suite. I try to experience the Spirit in a mystical way, through meditation, but it doesn’t do much for me. I can simply sit and muse on my existence—my being—and the larger Being of everything, and that gives me a sense or a feeling of something Larger beyond me, and of the pure wonder of my own being.   The ‘mystical’ experience for me comes through some types or music. Perhaps some sporting events touch me in that way, or some ecstatic moment happens for me. Scenes or experiences of healing or reconciliation touch me deeply too.   Intellectually, the Christian faith makes perfect sense to me. But existentially, there feels like a di...

  January 13, 2019 What if the Incarnation and Resurrection are untrue? What we have left is Jesus the teacher who gives us an ethical framework. Christianity is reduced to a way of life.   Christianity can be approached as: (a) metaphysics of truth, an ontology; a philosophy; (b) an ethical system or framework; a way of life; (c) a psychological strategy for living; (d) a historical movement, a stream of spirituality; (e) the revelation of the Creator within history, specifically through the Jewish people, and the Jewish man, Jesus.

      September 27, 2018 I’ve been reading Ratzinger’s book first published in 1967: Introduction to Christianity. This will surprise most people who know me, but I find Ratzinger’s theological writings among the most helpful. He approaches Christian theology rationally, philosophically. He sees God as the Intellect par excellence. God is transcendent Reason. He emphasizes logos; which for him is not just Word, but Reason, and Meaning. That speaks to my mentality. His scholarship is thorough. His faith is weighty. He is a firm witness to faith.  

      September 17, 2018 My sermon that I gave yesterday at Edgewood challenged me to think through my own dark journey of faith. I do believe in The Voice. God is invisible, but no inaudible. There is within all of us a Voice that we hear. The summons to be ourselves; to give ourselves to others; to live with integrity.   I gave a talk on my book ( The Bible Explained by Eight Kisses ) last Wednesday night. Having finished that book and preached at Edgewood, I feel like I can breathe again.   At this moment I feel no need to work on a book. A sense of freedom. I live in a liminal space. I believe; I don’t believe; it’s unclear; yet, I can’t know for sure; yet, I go on living. I can never go back to where I was. Incarnation is gone. Resurrection now seems probably not objective; but maybe. If the objective is correct, then why the absence now? I’m suspicious.   There was ‘something.’ It is reported as objective. As corporeal. But the gap between those repor...

    July 19, 2018 I’ve been reading Merton’s journals, and have come to the realization that I feel that life has meaning and purpose because of the faith I was raised in—the Jesus story. That is the well spring of meaning for me. So, if I am to speak about ‘meaning,’ I have to tell the story that gave it to me. I must affirm the Jesus Story.   Lately I have been obsessed with the question of Jesu as myth vs. Jesus as historical reality. In addition: if the Incarnation is metaphor, how does the person of Jesus effect an affirmation of my life? Of course the Incarnation dogma only appears in John, the mystical gospel. (Some would say that Paul intimates the Incarnation, but only John writes of the Logos, and the Logos becoming flesh.) Since John is a mystical writing, Logos become flesh is not a literal statement, but a mystical one.   But what does it mean to say that a Story gave me a sense of meaning if the Story is not objectively true? Kierkegaard wrote about ‘su...

  July 6, 2018 Recent lectures on YouTube have informed me that Aquinas taught two things: (1) God is not “a” being, but Being-Itself; (2) Yet, God is a “person” – but not like a human person. Sounds like a contradiction, but Thomas doesn’t contradict himself. This has helped me to embrace God as “person.”

  April 13, 2018 Going through a serious period of doubt. But this afternoon I said to myself: I find the Christian Narrative fulfilling because of (1) its beauty—the aesthetic pleasure of the symbols, rituals, and music; (2) its strong ethical stance regarding love, mercy, empathy, peacemaking, justice; (3) its philosophical strength, especially the Thomist stream, God as Being, as Other, as the God beyond God, God’s simplicity, infinity, immutability.   The Christian Faith offers a foundation for meaning, the music of the soul, and direction for ethical and moral life.   Questions of historicity of some aspects of the Tradition are ambiguous. The Tradition itself is mingled with human error and hubris. And some forms of the Tradition are not edifying. But the core of the Tradition is a solid affirmation of humanness, of nature, of dignity, and of the search for truth.

    April 2, 2018   Yesterday was Easter. I was in a daze. In these notes I am repeating some of the same thoughts over and over. But there may be an evolution within them. I’m looking for different ways to conceptualize my feelings and beliefs.   At this point the silence of the so-called God is deafening. Where he He? In my consciousness (?) – but is that real? If there is an eternal Consciousness, then I would hear It’s voice in my consciousness. If there is an infinite Mind, then my mind and thoughts might resonate with that Mind. Is my sense of the eternal merely an idea planted in my mind by my upbringing? Or is it something planted in my mind/consciousness by its relationship/connection with a real Consciousness that transcends time?   Do I need to move on from the religious phase to the secular phase? Or… is my rationalist, analytical temperament keeping me from an openness to a Holy Mystery?   I’m not panicking. I’m rather calm. There is a sense of...

  March 28, 2018 What has gotten us into theological confusion is the “thingification” of God. That is, thinking about God as if God is a “thing” or an object. Good theology says that God is nothing—no “thing.” To say that God is something—some “thing”—is to misspeak. God is not a thing among other things. Not even the biggest or most intelligent thing. God as a thing is too small. God is that which makes possible all things. And therefore, to call God "He" or "She" (or even It) speaks of a false God. Now, I recognize that for many people this is not a problem. But for those who have lost their ability to believe in God, it is crucial. And for many in our younger generations it will be crucial. To speak of God with integrity in the future will mean leaving behind the thing/object language, as well as the "person" language. Though I am not yet convinced that all "personal" language of the language of "personalism" must be thrown overboar...

  March 26, 2018   God is not elsewhere.   Become silent and let the silence fill your body and mind.   The New Testament stories about resurrection are symbols of wholeness.   The appearance in Luke 24 where they recognize him in the breaking of the bread is obviously a metaphorical story about encountering the presence of Christ in the Eucharist.   The resurrection appearance of Christ in John 21 is a metaphor of how Christ invites us to ‘come ashore’ during our ordinary life and work.   The vision that Paul had of the resurrected Christ on his way to Damascus is a metaphor of the ‘visions’ and ‘voices’ that come to us on our journey.   The resurrected body which is part of the new creation is a metaphor of our  undiscovered possibilities.   The resurrection appearances have Jesus appearing and disappearing out of thin air. He appears to disciples, then, ‘poof’ – he dematerializes and disappears. Is this a parable of the Christian life...

  March 17, 2018 Easter. The Easter Event. The resurrection of Christ. The appearances of the resurrected Christ.   I do not know what happened. It is possible that Christ appeared just as reported— in a corporeal form— a bodily person, through a body that could dematerialize.   The problem I have with that is my present world and life… It is absent any kind of reality that relates. There seems to be a gap between that kind of event and my present life.   Perhaps the apostles abandoned Jesus at his execution and went into hiding. Then, very soon, they agreed that the vision of life they had learned from Jesus was a liberating truth. So, they took courage and began a movement to continue the teachings and way of life that they had learned. One could understand such a process as similar to those who adopt an ideology.   The reports we have in the gospels are certainly written as real, historical happenings. But were they intended that way? Could they be something ...