Day after Easter -- some questions to myself

  

April 2, 2018

 

Yesterday was Easter.

I was in a daze.

In these notes I am repeating some of the same thoughts

over and over.

But there may be an evolution within them.

I’m looking for different ways to conceptualize

my feelings and beliefs.

 

At this point the silence of the so-called God

is deafening.

Where he He?

In my consciousness (?) – but is that real?

If there is an eternal Consciousness, then I would

hear It’s voice in my consciousness.

If there is an infinite Mind, then my mind and thoughts

might resonate with that Mind.

Is my sense of the eternal merely an idea planted

in my mind by my upbringing?

Or is it something planted in my mind/consciousness

by its relationship/connection with a real Consciousness

that transcends time?

 

Do I need to move on from the religious phase

to the secular phase?

Or… is my rationalist, analytical temperament

keeping me from an openness to a Holy Mystery?

 

I’m not panicking. I’m rather calm.

There is a sense of peace, or resignation, to my

dilemma.

Either God is, or God isn’t.

And I’m going to die.

(Two things I know.)

 

But how do I frame my life right now?

And how do I carry out my vocation right now?

 

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